emergency exit to escape my head..and I love you to death..................................................... The Badlands baby
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(1killer |to kill)

[16 Oct 2006|06:00pm]
so college. its coming along and it couldnt be going any slower.
sometimes i just want it to be april so that i can just go to greece. thats the only thing i have to look foward to before i go to college.
i want to do everything EXCEOT homework. I dont want to study for my ap test friday. i dont wnat to do ar notes. i dont want to do math homework.
im not feeling to good.
id better go do that shit.

college;cant wait.

(to kill)

perfect song. [15 Oct 2006|09:16pm]
Spent most of last night,
Dragging this lake,
For the corpses of all my past mistakes.
Sell me out, the joke's on you.
We are salt and you are the wound.

Empty another bottle,
And let me tear you to pieces.
This is me wishing you into the worst situations.
I'm the kind of kid that can't let anything go,
But you wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit your throat.

Whoa. Whoa. Oooh. Whoa. Whoa.

Your remorse hasn't fallen on deaf ears,
Rather ones that just don't care.
'Cause I know,
That you're in between arms somewhere.
Next to heartbeats where you shouldn't be asleep.
Now I'll teach you a lesson for keeping secrets from me.

Take your taste back,
Peel back your skin,
And try to forget how it feels inside.
You should try saying no once in a while.
Oh once in a while.

Take your taste back,
Peel back your skin,
And try to forget how it feels inside.
You should try saying no once in a while.
Oh once in a while.

And did you hear the news?
I could dissect you and gut you on this stage.
Not as eloquent as I may have imagined,
But it will get the job done.
You're done.

Every line is plotted and designed,
To leave you standing on your bedroom windows ledge.
And everyone else that it hits,
That it gets to,
Is nothing more than collateral damage.

Take your taste back,
Peel back your skin,
And try to forget how it feels inside.
You should try saying no once in a while.
Oh once in a while.

Take your taste back,
Peel back your skin,
And try to forget how it feels inside.
You should try saying no once in a while.
Oh once in a while.

(to kill)

[02 Oct 2006|07:48pm]
and whyd you have to go and do that love hump?

i hate homework.


(to kill)

.. [27 Sep 2006|03:21pm]
i am sitting here. not doing homework like i said i would do, unpaitiently awaiting the concert tonight.

the hush sound. im so extremely excited. im going to be riding in the car of a " sausage fest"? all the way up there. man i hope i can stand my ground.

im dying here.
i am not doing too hot, or at least not as hot as i would like to be doing, in school, and i know the exact reason why.
could it have anythign to do with me not doing my hoemwrok right now? and instead going to a concert? or perhaps the fact that im writng this?

but im quitting dairy queer. im going to start catering. im going to work at the preschool ( if they still need me) and that is that.

now all i have to have is a night out with dem bois to build up some balls to actually go and do it.

alright im out. peace and love.
gay and hard.


(to kill)

[29 Aug 2006|05:53pm]
Amanda Taylor

(to kill)

[21 Aug 2006|05:32pm]
in the entry previous to this one it did say decreasingly dissapointing, i meant to say increasingly dissapointing.

(2killers |to kill)

[21 Aug 2006|12:17am]
so i know this is early but what the hell, im going to do it any way.

summer. it had its ups and downs. it just seems that as time gos on it continues to become increaingly dissappointing. this year less than last year prolly cus i spent most of the summer being mad at tom. and it didnt hit me till my birthday that i had wasted my entire summer being retarted. so. this summer. i met some really amazing people. steve. jack. steve.  jack. nick. roberto. elizabeth and tony. i got to know alot of other people much better too.steve.marc. matt.mike. bryan just to name a few. i also realized that some people are alot different than i would have expected. im sad that i didnt get to spend time with margaret and caitlin and alison and kathryn and people as much as i would have hoped, but its becuase we are all too lazy to pick up a phone. 
i went to alot of concerts.
fell in love acouple of times. 
fell out of love more times.
changed alot.
got my nose peirced.
and grew up alot.
im actuallly quite nervous about this week. i need to finish that book for history and write that paper. i also need to get some shit from that list done :x. i really wanted to go back to the store and buy the gatsbys american dream cd.
im supposed to hang out with tom and kim and michelle again sometime this week. and by again i mean like the old days, the GOOD days before i had to fuck everything up. we shoulda stayed friends. well.no im glad we didnt in some eways i just wish i didnt waste time being retarted. ANYWAY, i dunno if we will all get along like we used to. 
i got a new phone.
lost an old phone to get the new phone.
im so excited about school
im giving up on so many things. im no longer relying on people to begin with.ive wasted so much time waiting aroud probablly becasue every time i try and act no one ever answered their phones.
i miss alot of people and i cant wait to go back to school to see everyone. my new thing, and i picked it up from the cruise, is hug kisskiss. 

please.ignore me.
i love hugs.

(2killers |to kill)

[14 Aug 2006|10:19pm]
the cruise was amazing. i am going to miss everyone on it. i wish i could go back- free food 24/7 staying up till three am talking to steve= the love of my life.lol. all day with nick and party elevators with elizabeth and tony. Robertos sense of humor and Justin's secret connections to balcony's and the front of the boat. i will miss you guys <3. cozumel-grand cayman and jamacia were all amazing. if i had the chance i would do so many more things knowing what i know now. my stories would be different for my friends. prob more interesting. pictures laterr.

(to kill)

[06 Jun 2006|08:06pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

why do i have to be so goddamn 

(7killers |to kill)

mmhm [28 May 2006|06:49pm]

prom was amazing. 
i had an amazing time with everyone. thank you alison for letting us use your house and thank you everyone who helped organize it.

it was over the top.

moments from prom--
-the only party bus cd that we had before prom.
- me and bryan the only ones partaying on the bus before prom
- Nick Lachey. ; )
- me laughing at people whilst marc and I slow dance- hehehe :^ )
- eating food to techno music.
- The horrid food--- well the OKAY food.
-two plates of pasta
- the really good chocolates that i was made to try and that i made megan try.
- everyones dresses
- everyones suits
- the rigged prom queen and king( ? ) lol
- pictures at my house/kileys/ alisons.
- the partay bus
- my house after post prom
- meeting an elephant
- climbing a rock wall and NOT getting tickets for it : /
- watching colleen win everything lol then me getting like three tickets lol
- ANDREW SUNTHORN not being there to win the car
- the poor girls who cried in the bathroom
- matt chetlan asking me to save him a dance- then not dancing with me cus hes scum
- justin and the freaking ms. new booty song
- ryan all up on kim
- bryan all up on kim
- kim being all up'ed on.
- bryan trying to grind with me. uhhhh
- getting pictures-----millions of them
- LOUD caitlyn lol <3
- margarets dress
- POST prom madness-- food galore-
     everyone would agree that they would just get food not even wanting any.
-mine and michelles love shack
- mine and michelles dice game
- BRYAn and StEVes kareokie
- marc coming over to me and michelle and just sitting with us.
-henna with ms. Kali :)
- the post prom driver taking two rights when we told him to take lefts
- my houseeeee
         - stude andy briank. paul and james meeting us here after.
         -  bryan naked in my sisters bed.
                    - bryan half naked in my sisters bed with our hanson t on
         - brian k and his poker problem lol
                    - bryan steve and brian being obsessed with FP
         - no one knowing where to sleep
        - stude andy and james and paul going fishing and us telling them we would meet them there to watch the sunrise, but hten falling asleep instead
       - waking up next to mike in my bed.....uhhhhhh haha
       - waking up and finding a cute note from matt
      - drinking alot of coffee
        - bryan brian and steve leaving early to go to mickey d's 
       -  going to everyone elses house to see if anyone else was home.
      -   playing an intense game of football and getting mad sunburn.
      - slow day at work.
     - slow day at home. by myself. not wantting to do homework. going to a bar b q tomorrow at colleens house. they all went to six flags today. YAY ? im going to call megan and see waht she wants to do. idkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

i just dont know.


(1killer |to kill)

[14 May 2006|12:42am]
to anyone ive ever hurt...

                                                im sorry.

(to kill)

[24 Apr 2006|10:20pm]
Once you are tagged you MUST write a blog about your 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next six people to be tagged and list their names.


1. i bite the sides of my nails down till they bleed.

2. i procrastinate just like kathryn, just not as bad. : P i cant stand to NOT do homework. cept in math. that class its uhh ok to not do it. an example being i like to wiat until i absolutley have to clean my room before i do it. even when eddie comes over i dont even clean up anymore.

3. i sing to rap music. all the time. and say my dance moves out loud.

4. i have a tendancy to say i am very spontaneous but i usually just like people that do spontaneious things and WISH i could do that. i like loud and obnoxious people like that . and quiet people too of course.

5. i literally listen to my ipod like it is the soundtrack to my life, when im sad then its sad music and when im happy then its happy music. and it usually effects my mood even more.

6. i like to sit on the beach by myself and watch the stars and the planes.

i tag

(2killers |to kill)

[21 Mar 2006|10:31pm]
sometimes i hate the fact that im a girl. the only thing i like about it is that i like boys.. but that dosent even matter anymore.

girls are mean. girls are bitches. girls are weird. girls are confusing.
i hate them and yet i am one.
i hate that fact even more.
i love being one of the guys but still being a girl.. i hate the way girls treat other people and i hate the way other people treat girls.

but me and my girls will alwyas stick together.
thats another thing i love about being a girl. im always there when another girl needs help..

unless im super annoyed.. then BACK OFF! cus im a girl and i got problems too. pfft..


(2killers |to kill)

[20 Mar 2006|05:57pm]

(to kill)

[20 Mar 2006|02:14pm]
last night was super fun..

today was a dissapointment....

days go by and they all seem to become more dissapointing, then theres one day that makes everything seem special and happy.. then dissapointment agian...

i hate being sad and i hate the fact that other people are sad too.

i think im gonna go for a walk,, get some ice cream at dq.

it would be the only thing iwouldve eaten all day.

im tired and sad and cranky and pissed. i hate waiting ...gosh.. anticipation will kill me one day, really. im done fighting. im done waiting. im done anticipating what will come next.

carpe diem.
thats my motto from nowon.

(to kill)

[18 Mar 2006|04:51pm]
i can never seem to put the right words to what i mean to say..
people used to be able to just understand what i was trying to mean but now .........its true.

i really just dont understand anything anymore.
not that i understood everything before, just i understand less now.

i hate the feeling of pity and misery. the feeling of missing someone--that type of misery..

yeah whatev.
tonight should be fun. if its not then it will be the complete opposite.

sing lalalalalalalal lalalalalalalalalalala

i am the passeger.

(3killers |to kill)

[18 Mar 2006|12:43am]
i hate politics. i hate the fact that i take advantage of what i have and i dont like to accept things as they are. i take advantage sometimes, its true. i hate it. why did it take so long for me to realize stuff like, i always think im right and how moody i get and defensive i get. im sorry to anyone ive ever done that to. not that millions of people read this or anything. i just

i shouldnt feel the way i do now.. i should feel happy and whatnot.. not that im not happy.. the word to describe me is scummy.scummy.scummy. im not exactly sure of the definition but.. it certinatly fits.

i regret so much.. and yet i am thankful of somuch.
i wish i was able to express the way i felt better. i think marge knows what this entry is about.


(3killers |to kill)

[17 Mar 2006|11:45pm]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>mixed emotions.<<<<<<<<<<<

(4killers |to kill)

[17 Mar 2006|04:46pm]
[ mood | creative ]

brad gave me some rap..

i know rap is crap without the c.. but, latley , ive liked it..
is new and im sick of the old emo shit i used to listen to..
dont get me wrong, i still love it. but im taking a break from it.
rap and indie and the decemberists for the rest of the month.

the only emo music that is allowed is elliot smith..

yeahh and ive got a date for promm.. heck yeahh..

(1killer |to kill)

[11 Mar 2006|10:20pm]
x_dreamer writes.....
i feel like ive lost touch with everyone

i feel the exact same way. im usuallly good with stuff when it comes to keeping touch, but latley ive been feeling really bad becuase i find myself not caring.

i miss people.
"i miss haning out with people.

its not the same anymore.
i doubt it ever will be the same.

nothing can make something that happened unhappen. "

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